Today was rather uneventful. Nothing too much to say about it. We'll start on Saturday. First order of business was to allow the family cat of almost 20 years to pass on. She has not been doing well for some time now due to sheer age and arthritis. She has not been able to properly groom herself for the last 5 years or so. She was still in good spirits but you could see the pain that this all caused when she tried to stand up to greet you or even just to get a drink. This last week she had started to drag one of her rear legs really bad and was limping more than usual. The entire family had been expecting her to not survive the extremes in temperature during both the winter and summer months but putting her down was still a tough decision to make. She took to the car without much complaint. Earlier in her life she would only go to the vet with much protest. I think she understood that this trip was different. She tried to bite the vet when he administered the sedative but all the vet got was gums since she hasn't had much in the way of teeth for the last while. After that it was easy, for her anyway. For those present it was harder to take. It's rough to let a friend go that has been in your life for so long.
All of this made me realize that it wasn't really the fact that the cat was gone, it was the realization of our mortality. I hate it when it beats you about the head and leaves you with a feeling of dread. Who is next? Me? My mother? Father? Sister? Friend, foe? I thought that i had accepted my mortality as well as the ones that I love but it never gets easier. The whole thing just made me realize again that any of us could go at any time.
After I had gotten over those thoughts it was time to get the weekend started. Some friends and I headed to a BBQ. The BBQ was hosted by a man named Rick. Rick is a friend of Tayla. Rick served our wonderful country in the military and now is suffering from PTSD. He has become a shut-in and his house was VERY uncomfortable. I just felt ultra closed in. It was strange. Just the vibe from all that messed with my head for the rest of the evening.
Sunday was a different story. More friends went to a bar (to remain un-named at this time). The whole mood of the place was volatile. The tension could've been cut with a knife but a chainsaw probably was required. There was such a web of homo drama that a match would've brought the fire department. Someone had a beef with someone else and that someone had a beef with two others and it just circled and twisted upon itself. Despite all of this no one was hurt and the evening went off without a hitch. It was really strange that no fires were lit.
Monday night (last night) was an interesting time. It was margarita monday. The inflammatory group from the bar was in attendance. It was still a relatively calm get together but there were bursts of emotion. For me the night sucked. It seems like each time that I have an eye for someone, someone else jumps in the way and blocks. This has happened twice in the last week. Mason got really drunk and he had to leave his car and I drove him home. I couldn't tell you how many times he threw up. Luckily he didn't get any on nor in my car. I didn't get home until 03:00 and had to be at work by 08:30. Not fun. Mason had today off.
Another event of last night was my best friend Deacon caught his boyfriend Nathan masturbating on a web cam for an "old friend" (his ex i presume). This was the straw that broke the camel's back with them. It is over between them but Deacon has not kicked Nathan out of the house... I feel that they will repair things but I personally carry information that could bring this all to a halt. This info may or may not be disclosed. It may just take a bit for things to cool down before I release it. *sigh*
hopefully this provides some initial insight into my life.
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